Wisdom From a Dying Friend

Matt and I

Monday – April 25th I had to say goodbye to one of the best dudes I’ve ever had the privilege to call my friend. It all started for me when I got a phone call from my friend Rick that Matt was in a vegetative state and is most likely going to die in the next couple of days. I couldn’t believe it. One of my best friends and favorite people is going to die? I drove down there that day to see him in the hospital, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. There lied someone I spent the better part of my childhood with practically dead. I would put my hand on him and talk to him and his breathing would change like he was excited to hear my voice. He could barely open his eyes from time to time, and he was hardly moving and the only sound he would make was a groan. Hope was bleak. And then a week and a half later he was dead.

The saddest part about all this is that I hadn’t talked to Matt in three years and I hadn’t seen him in four. For the longest time I didn’t really have the resources to make it down to Victorville (where I grew up), but for the last 5 months before he died I did, and I kept feeling that I should make the trip down there to see him and all my other friends down there, but I always talked myself out of it and put it off. And now he’s gone and I’ll never have that opportunity again. I’ll never hear his goofy, contagious laugh ever again, and I’ll never see him float through the air on his skateboard like he was part feather ever again. The moment has forever passed.

At the funeral I noticed that this was a common feeling for a lot of people that knew him. Many people came up and talked about how they wish they would have made the time to see him more before he died. Life got in the way and they kept putting it off, and now it’s too late. It was sad to see how so many of us with the same regret – we cared more for the things that didn’t really matter much in the end. For me, instead of making the time to go see him, I was too busy spending that time filming for a video part and trying to make money, stuff that is fleeting and won’t matter much in the grand scheme of things.

Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, “It is better to go to the house of mourning than go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind and the living will take it to heart.” When we lose someone we care about, we realize real quickly what is important in life. It’s not our job, our bank account, our popularity, our accomplishments, etc.; it’s the people we care about. And not only is it about the people we care about, but the God that cares for us. John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” Not only did God demonstrate the greatest act of love ever known in human history by dying the death we deserved, but he calls us his friends. Jesus also says in John 10:10, “… I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” In the Bible we see a God that is always making time for us; always speaking and always pursuing. We make time for people because we see our God doing the same thing. 

Jesus says in Matthew 7:21-23 says, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven…. I will declare to them on that day, depart from me I never knew you.” I had the realization through this whole experience as to why someone would not know Christ and have to hear the words, “depart from me I never knew you.” It is because we made excuses and put it off and eventually it became too late, just like me and so many others in regard to failing to make the time for Matt while he was still living. When Matt died, a lot of us were filled with regret for not making the time for him, and when we die, I hope none of us are filled with regret for failing to make the time for God.  

All of our lives are slowly coming to an end, and we too easily get caught up in things that don’t matter much when our best friends or family members are laying in a hospital bed about to die. Death is a wake up call that gets us to realize what is truly important in life. Never hesitate or procrastinate to see someone you care about, and most importantly, never hesitate or procrastinate to know your father in heaven. It is the people and our God that are the only things that are really lasting in this dying earth. Everything else is fleeting and will burn up in the end.

Here’s a video of Matt Yarbrough. He was my favorite person to watch skate. He had the best style of anyone I’ve ever met. He was also the most genuine, loving, happiest person I have probably ever met. When I was around him I felt a lot less likely to get upset or frustrated, because in all the years I knew him, I don’t think I ever saw him get mad. He was like a shield against all negative feelings and emotions. The picture above was us in high school when we were about 15 and 16. My mom had taken us to a skatepark about an hour away and after a while she went and got us nachos. My mom being a mom wanted to take a picture and document the day, and Matt, being the person he was had a mouth full of food and saw it as an opportunity to make us laugh. He was a good dude and one of my favorite people to be around.

Rest in peace my brother. When my time comes to go be with the good Lord I hope you’re there to greet me. Love you dog.


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