Grief often feels like a broken record. The same song plays over and over again, and it’s not just any song. It’s a song that evokes feelings and past hurts that I thought I buried and had moved past, but I have to rehash and deal with these every time it plays, and nothing is ever resolved. The thing about grief is that there is nothing we can do about it than to just bare it. The only remedy seems to be to get outside and get my mind off of it. No matter how many times that I have told myself that I have gotten over it, forgiven, moved on, it always seems to come back and I have to deal with it all over again. When someone has caused us pain in life, we don’t just forgive them one time and then we’re done with it. We have to spend our whole life forgiving them. For there is always that part of us that wants to be angry, that part that wants to slam our fists on the table and yell, “how could you!” But I am a person of peace and self control, or so I tell myself, so I am going to let it run its little course. Take a walk outside, drown my sorrow in sunshine and remind myself that I am going to be ok and am not going to be given to my anger. It may go away for a time, but it always comes back. I am never done with it. That broken record always starts playing that old familiar tune again. Most of our issues, wounds, hurts, are never resolved in this world are they? It’s just a matter of how we cope with it.
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Good word. I wonder if there’s a correlation between forgiveness and taking up our cross daily? I feel that each day we have to make a choice to forgive. Enjoy that sunshine, God’s gift!