There is something about being in the mountains that brings some kind of clarity. On July 4th, just a couple weeks ago, I had to work in the morning till about 2 or 3, and all day at the coffee shop where I work I am hearing about all the gatherings with family and friends that people are doing later. I didn’t think I would be as bothered by this as I was, but all day at work, I ask people what they are doing, and they ask me back and I tell them, I don’t think I am doing anything. By the time I got off, I was feeling like I had nobody, like I was all alone in the world. I get home, and my neighbors are having a barbecue with some family in our shared backyard, and I am so down in the dumps by this point that I can’t bear hearing people being together. I had to get away from my house and I had this sense that I just needed to get to the mountains. So I went to this spot along the north fork American river that I haven’t been to, and as I am hiking up the river I find a real beautiful part where the water is really clear and deep and looks incredible. I swim for a while with my goggles and I can’t believe how beautiful it is underwater. All of the sudden I am overjoyed and am as content and satisfied as I can be. As I begin the walk back to my car, I get this sense, which was probably God, say, “You see, what are you complaining about? You like this better anyway.” And I began to weep a little bit. What do I have to complain about? It was like I was beckoned by God to come to the mountains and see the truth about myself.
There is a Lumineers song that I can’t get enough of right now that goes, “where we are, I don’t know where we are, but it will be ok.” Those words do something to me for some reason and I get a little emotional every time I hear them. whenever I am in the mountains, I get this feeling of, no matter what happens to me, no matter what state my life is in, no matter how many friends I have, no matter what my family is like or what growing up was like… I will be ok. No complaining, no “woe is me,” no short end of the stick, no one to be angry with, no “why couldn’t things have been different….” Just all smiles. For everything will be ok.